“I’m dreaming tonight of a place I love,”

“even more than I usually do.”

I am trying very hard to stay positive and not dwell on the negative, and so far, I’m doing a damn good job of it!  That being said, I think we are all entitled to bitch and moan a little here and there right?  We’re all allowed a moment of negativity, so here’s mine.

Our HHG won’t come until after Christmas, and I’ve been mentally kicking myself for not thinking that far ahead and sending at least a few Christmas decorations over with our unaccompanied baggage.  So needless to say, things are a little bleak and dull looking around our home.  Every room is white (except the one I recently painted, which we haven’t put to use yet) and empty except for the hard, ugly furniture on loan. 
We considered getting a tree, and Cody even asked a friend to drive us to get one, but then we would have to buy lights and ornaments, things we already have in excess, in transit.  So we scratched the tree idea.  But the lack of Christmassy-ness was still depressing me, so I set out to decorate in other ways.  I took the shuttle to buy some decorations other than a tree.  I thought “I’ll get some poinsettias and garland and maybe a wreath!”   Turns out the PX does not re-stock the way stores back home do.  The Christmas selection was slim pickings; not a wreath in sight.  There were no poinsettias either.
So off to plan B;  I would get my crafty ass in gear and make something.  “I’ll make a banner, and paper snowflakes and surely I can come up with other things.”  So I set about the PX again looking for craft supplies.  Would you believe that there was NO construction paper?  NONE!  My choices were ridiculously overpriced scrapbook paper or giant sheets of poster board.  I was not going to pay that much and I did not want to tote oversized poster board with me back on the bus.  So I bought a pack of plain computer paper, un-ruled index cards, and glitter.
“This will have to do.”  I kept telling myself as I walked around looking for something to put on table as a centerpiece for Christmas dinner.  But the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to cry.  I missed home,  I missed our family and friends and right there in that moment it was too hard to stay positive, I just WANTED to miss everyone, and miss our family Christmas.  I wanted… no.  I NEEDED to miss, and think and cry.  So I did.  I bought my crafting crap, got on the bus, and went home and cried in my husbands arms.
It felt good.  It felt good to have a moment of sorrow and to miss everyone I love, and to regret not packing my Christmas decorations.  Then Cody and I talked about the single soldiers that we are having over for Christmas dinner.  The men and women who probably feel the same way I do.  Who also have to spend the most wonderful time of the year without all of their wonderful family and loved ones.  And then, it wasn’t so bad.  I don’t think that any of these people are going to care that we don’t have a tree or decorations.  I think they’re just going to be happy that they, along with us, will have a little distraction from our pining.  Happy to have a home to celebrate in and the prospect of new friendships over the coming year.
So I dried my eyes, played some Christmas music and put my big girl panties back on.  I opened the new scissors I had just bought and began my crafting afternoon.  By the time I had finished my “Merry Christmas” banner, I was feeling better.  I think all I needed was a good cry, and of course some good advice.  Cody always has the right thing to say, and my sister-in-law reminded me that now is the time to start our own traditions.  So I’m going to bake and craft some more while I think up some traditions for us.  Maybe a tradition will come out of all this crafting!
And so begins another day. I hope to finish up my decorating today, it makes me feel festive and happy.  It puts me in a good mood!  It makes it feel like Christmas, which I need now that the snow is melting away.  I plan to put up some pictures of my crafting adventures later on… maybe that will be my next post.
Until then Tschüss!