Two Months Later…

It’s blog writing time y’all!  I have no excuses this time on length between posts… other than good old fashioned laziness.  But since my last post, much has happened; My first on location radio show and Amsterdam to name a few!

The infertility thing struck me hard for a while, which is probably why I didn’t care to write or do anything really.  I had sudden insomnia brought on by the inability to shut off my mind. ANYTHING infertility related raced through my mind, not only at night, but all day.  What could I do on my end to possibly help?  No diagnosis is final right?  I would research like crazy.  I changed the food I ate, adding bee pollen, royal jelly, and maca powder to my diet.  “Am I working out enough?  Am I working out too often or too hard?  Is it my weight?  I know I need to loose more, but heavy women get pregnant all the time!  Why me and not them?  Why are shit heads who abuse their children able to get pregnant but not me?  Maybe I can wear a rose quartz necklace?  This article on holistic health says it could help… well, it can’t hurt right?”  It was never ending.  Constantly wondering what I could do to make it better, even a little tiny bit better.
The lack of sleep got bad enough that I went to the doctor.  After reviewing my sleep routine and several weeks of going to bed and waking up at the exact same time every. single. day… sleep came more easily.   Time did it’s job as well, and I thought about the infertility less, and other day to day things more.  I started learning more at the radio station and was given a few commercials to produce and record.  I even got to do a remote show at a festival in my dirndl! 

We went to a few fests like the frülhingsfest in Nüremberg.  Now, I feel so much better than I did two months ago.  Everyone we know has been supportive and understanding.  Our family, especially, when we decided to put the money we had saved to visit home, toward our new savings for IVF.  I still think about it often, and I am still active in my attempts to eat wholesome fertility- friendly foods and stay active, but  it’s not the all-consuming thoughts that made me feel so helpless. 

Our travels really helped too, and how could they not?  Europe never ceases to amaze me, and Amsterdam was no exception!  It was beautiful in a slightly grungy way.  Not dirty… just hazy.  Old and new at the same time. House boats on cannels.  Bicycles everywhere, many abandoned long ago with layers of dirt and pollen, and covered in spider webs, but still locked to whatever bridge it’s owner chained it to.  We rented bikes of our own and, as far as I am concerned, it is the ONLY way to see Amsterdam!  The people LIVE on bikes, so much so, that they have customized their bikes for everything from toting groceries to transporting children and pets in covered trolley-like attachments.  I saw one woman with two children in the trolley-cart and the baby tied firmly to her chest her in one of those cloth wraps! 
And woe to the pedestrian who steps foot into the bike path!  They would be met with the angry ring of a bell as the cyclist expertly maneuvers around them in the blink of an eye.  Sometimes with an agitated insult, other times an exasperated shake of the head.  It was amazing, and we saw so much in our short time there.  So far, it’s one of my most favorite places!

Since block leave has begun and the weather has warmed, we’ve spent quite a lot of time at the schwimmbad.  I’ve been skipping the gym in favor of swimming laps, and I’d forgotten how much of a workout it can be.  I may be surrounded by little old German ladies in water belts, but it beats being inside the hot and smelly gym, made so by it’s lack of air conditioning!

Cody and I also took a little trip to a nearby town we’d heard a lot about called Pottenstein.  It’s less than an hour from us by car, and there is cave you can tour.  Our tour was in German, but we grabbed a little pamphlet in English that summed things up.  The cave exited into a lovely and green little ravine and led down to the exit,which went through a restaurant/gift shop, like a Disney ride.  We ate lunch at the little restaurant and so far, it’s the best käsespätzle, I’ve had in my time here!  I’ve been searching for a recipe for “Frankisch käsespätzle” since. 

I’m happy to say that things are going well, and we are both keeping busy and having a good time.  I’m even happier that I’m feeling better and sleeping regularly again!  To anyone going through infertility issues, it sucks, like REALLY sucks… but the suck will pass.  Time heals all is an old adage, and while it doesn't actually heal infertility, it certainly eases it.
Until next time, Tschüss!